What I was !

I read some of my old blogs and a feeling a weirdness took me . Death , We choose to forget it , to spend our days thinking it doesnt exist but its so real , its in every corner you see . its in the eyes of a child in the middle of street selling flowers , trying to find enough money to satisfy his fathers carve for drugs .
Death is in you , Death is me and yet we easily forget it .

Its just not fair to death .

First Day of The last Year Of University

Well , Its the beginning of the end . Tomorrow universities will begin again and I have to go to Electronic Class at 9.30 am . I have the same feeling of sadness as everyone in the world have experienced in the first day of university . The end of the last summer , The beginning of the last year .
I pray to God for a good year , for a fruitful year and for a happy year.

Resume

Im trying to write my resume , it turns out much harder than I thought . I went to see parya today and we had a great time but I hope she doesnt think anything bad about me . see , I told her that I still love her but not like a lover nor like a friend . Simply like she is Parya and Im Ali .
The last song I dedicated to her was something like " If its wrong to love you , then my heart just wont let me be right , cause im drowned in you and i wont pull through without you by my side . I Give my all just to have one more night with you ...."
but now Its like " when your day is long and the night , the night is yours alone . and you show you had enough with this life , hang on . Dont let yourself go , Cause everybody cries , Everybody hurts sometime"
I really love my relationship with her , its like nothing i have ever experienced . its diffrent yet enjoyable , its funny and yet deep . I dont give the world in exchange of what we have now .
Tonight I realized how wise she is , and how true her advices are .
I think Im really gonna miss her most of all .

Its Funny

Its funny how our ears has turned into two way tunnels
and our hearts turned to stone
Its funny how are words dropped meaning
and our love has simply blown
our days stopped to carry feeling
and our touch carry no healing
maybe its just the way we have grown

no blog should be alone

you are not a lonely blog anymore :D someone reads you .

Last Seasons in Tehran

Today , I realized that this is the last time I will see summer in Tehran for a long time . well not having to see summer in tehran doesnt bother me that much . But in Fall , Winter and Spring Tehran gets as beautiful as it can get . So i Guess i really have to enjoy my last seasons in Tehran and try to absorb as much beauty as i can and try to find some things to cling to in feauture and remember my life in tehran by them .

A Friend

I need a friend to listen to me ,
I need a friend to cry to without thinking I am weak
I need a friend to read my blogs and have sympathy with me
I need a friend to shout my problems to
I need a friend to really know me and for me to really know
The saddest fact about my life nowadays is although I know a lot of people im simply
Alone

Fragile Dreams

Sometimes its so easy to watch your castle of dreams tumble down . Walls you believed were made of concrete turns out to be of glass . Its easy when it shatters into thousand pieces , what you believed was a stronghold . What can you do ? you can sit and watch every piece of dream falling down , you can watch your hopes , your ambitions . watch them die twice the fast as they were created , unbelievably . I didnt knew how easy it was , I thought it was strong enough to hold the weight of thousand horses but hey what can you do ? I remember the house of spider story , how it is easy to be ruined , I Remember the house made on the water , i remember ....
But this time i will make my house by love , I will make it on honesty foundations , on me .
I will Dream
well what are we made of if we arent made of dreams ?

Second Day in Istanbul

This morning we woke up about 8 o'clock and we went to have very good breakfast in hotel . After that we talked about our plans for the day in our rooms , Zahra chatted a little bit and i watched some TV . about 9.30 we got out and went for topkapi palace with tram. It was very beautiful but 20 Liras for each was a little overpriced . so we went in were there till about 4 o'clock , we saw everything that was in there very carefully.Then we went for the archeology mueseum and saw everything there too . After that we were very tired so went to a good resturant ( we could not find our desired cafe which seemed to be closed now ) so we went to another cafe . There I ate a yougart Kabab and Zahra ate Beef Krepe . Then we went under the galata bridge and we drank two tasty cocktails and meet a german giant .
Then we took a trip home and now we are here .

First Day in Istanbul

Yesterday we arrived in Istanbul , As we had decieded to use metro or as it is called here "Light Rail" It was somehow complicated to find our way and arrive the hotel "Bilinc" . After being lost in Sirkeci we then traveled back to Lalei University station and found our hotel . Zahra was furios and very mad at me . She was hot and tired . we checked in and found the hotel and rooms very small . Then i went And bought two beers and we drank them while watching TV . Then we slept for two hours and at 4 we went out for walking in the city . we saw many beautiful mosques and then sat near the beautiful Marmara Sea and watched the waves for an hour . then we began to walk more and decided to go to Galata Bridge . But we were lost again and with no map and no directions we found are way to the main square by following tramva railways . Then we went to a bar and I had Cognac Brandy and Zahra had Martini Rosso . It was a very nice place and the views were OK with a friendly staff . Then we came back and slept.

Sorrow , Sadness and timidness

Well , Its been a little while since I wrote my first blog post here . I created this blog primarily for the purpose of the conference I was going to participate in . I was going to keep this a professional blog as well as a personal one , so I wrote it in English for it to be kind of international . I had planned to travel in italy , greece and turkey with my friend Zahra . I had planned every detail,reserved every hotel and booked every flight ( some non refundable ) . To my much disappointment my dreams were shattered about three weeks ago as Greece embassy assholes denied us of visas although we had presented every documents their requested . I dont like to talk about this topic nor I would like to go through the pain I experienced in the last couple of weeks.
The thing I want to talk about is being afraid to dream.Dreams shape our lives being the dream of getting rich , falling in love with beautiful person or travling europe . So what happens the hope and passion to reach these dreams is replaced by fear of losing . To avoid this disappointments one might loose all the ambition one needs to continue in this bitter , lonely and repeatetive life . Its really really painful . What happens if you are afraid to try ? well for one thing you dont get the satisfaction of going in front of the mirror saying : Damn it , I tried my best and put 100% effort in achieving my dream , I didnt loose anything . at least i tried.
Well, I say You my kill my dreams , you may prison my mind , you may take away my freedom but never ever you can stop me of being a dreamer. NEVER

Presentation preperation

Decision

Today i have made a big decision , actually two big decisions and God knows they are hard . Hope I can accomplish them . Each one of them individually seems impossible . I have tried to do the both but failed many times , but it doesnt stop me from trying . the following days will be hard as hell.
Hope I can make it .

Exams

Well, Its Official . today The head of Technical Engineering Department announced that exams will be postponed until 10th of September. I really think they are scared for "18th of Tir" Movements that may happen . Anyway thats a heavy load off my mind. I think this will ruin summer for many but not for me . looking forward to a great trip in Europe 18th of July . At least I dont have to worry till after the trip.
cheers